How to Handle an Emperor

Vera had always had a soft spot for emperor penguins.
It wasn’t their posture or status – it was the hairstyle. And the colours.
That wild crown of yellow-orange feathers?
She found it oddly captivating.

But this one was… a lot.
A bit much, a bit fast.

She didn’t quite know how to handle such intense enthusiasm for her person.

He breathed warmly into her ear and mumbled things she didn’t quite catch.
What she did catch, was that his flipper (or was it a wing?) had somehow ended up rather far down her back.

“Oh dear,” she said softly.
“And… well… I think I need to fart.”

He pulled his flipper back as if he’d been burned, staring at her in utter shock.

She tilted her head, blinked slowly, and said coyly:
“Intimacy is lovely, but please give me space for digestion.”

"Forgive me," he mumbled.
"Digest away. Don’t let me stop you."

Vera farted.
Not quietly.
With bravour!
Then she simply walked away.

He vanished into the fog, dignified and confused.

Vera sighed.
She didn’t think she’d see him again.

But honestly?
You never know with emperor penguins.